Some of you are graduating summa cum laude. Some of you are graduating magna cum laude. And some of you are graduating thank you laude.
- Parent: what does a cow say?
- Baby: "moo!"
- Parent: yes! And what does a sheep say?
- Baby: "baah!"
- Parent: yay! And what does a pig say?
- Baby: *whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"
Being a nice person is so fun
Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it
Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets
There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.
when you type “fuck” but accidentally put “duck”
just saw a post accusing Obama of working for the government